Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

All your kids are named "Joe."

Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

People get dizzy just watching you.

When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."

You don't tan, you roast.

You introduce your spouse as your "Coffeemate."